What the Tsar wants
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felinefablesTitel: what the Tsar wants
Fandom: Rise of the Guardians/Guardians of Childhood
Rated: PG-13 for minor violence
Summary: Tsar Apollo Lunanoff knows what he wants. This doesn’t mean he can just get it, which he learns the hard way from Lady Pitchiner.
Notes: A little fic I’ve been working on for the-ink-kettle on tumblr who let me borrow her Tsar Lunanoff facing off against my Ebony Pitchiner o3o I hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun writing this XD
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Lady Ebony Pitchiner was a beautiful woman, there was no question about that. She was petite but elegant, and while she possessed no magic, she made up for it with pure stubbornness, beauty and a razorsharp wit and intelligence. Tsar Apollo Lunanoff had seen her verbally cut down plenty of aristocrats, who believed themselves above her and her darling husband Kozmotis.
Ah Kozmotis, his fine Golden General. You wouldn’t think he was what he was, when you got to know him in person. The man had been born in a mining colony, had become a soldier and then… well, they said he had met his wife, and she had chiseled away the rough surface and brought out the rich ore within that was everything of Kozmotis Pitchiner. Roughly hewn, scarred, battleworn, but also an excellent strategist and diplomat with a silver tongue.
Apollo was not afraid to admit that he had fantasies about that tongue and putting it to good use on something other than diplomacy.
It was always strangely amusing in a way to watch Ebony and Kozmotis, especially during grand events such as some of the Galas that they occasionally had to attend. They were almost like actors, putting on masks for the public that rarely revealed their true feelings, unless it was someone familiar, while in private or smaller gatherings, they were sometimes a bit more open.
That Lady Pitchiner was much shorter than her husband only made it even more amusing, even though Apollo doubted others would see the humor in his observations. There was just something about the way that tiny woman could either charm a crowd with her knowledge, or shoot them down with her whipcrack wit.
Lady Pitchiner always kept herself closed around the Tsar however. She was polite and calm, but she never let herself be alone with him. Perhaps her husband had warned her of the Tsars flirtatious, and often demanding and impulsive nature, or perhaps she was paranoid about the by now legendary Moon Madness that reigned supreme through the Tsars bloodline. Perhaps a part of her felt sorry for them all, as Apollo knew for a fact, that she was always gentle when it came to his ball and chain of a wife.
He knew the Pitchiners were adventurous in several ways, and his sharp ears had heard the servants tittering amongst themselves, of how the Pitchiners would sometimes sneak off at parties, and find an empty bedroom. He certainly wouldn’t mind if they were to invite him along sometime.
Stars, but he wanted that woman. Her and her prized war stallion of a husband. And he was quite certain that if he got a proper chance to speak with her in private, the Lady Pitchiner would be more agreeable.
———–
He decided to take the chance at one of the more casual gatherings that the nobility was so very fond of. A council member of the Taurus constellation was holding a lavish dinner and of course the Pitchiners and the Lunanoffs were invited. Everyone bowed and scraped when the Tsar was introduced, and then the guests were seated.
It was one of those dinners where several courses were served over several hours, all of them small and rather light so they weren’t too filling. And if the guests did feel full, they simply left the table for a bit for some of the entertainment going around. At the table itself was a light music being played, while the council member had offered access to his gardens outside if his guests wanted some fresh air.
Lady Pitchiner went for such an option at one point, murmuring something to her husband, who nodded to her before she left.
Apollo on his part pretended to be invested in a conversation between a couple of the other guests, before he excused himself as well a few moments later.
It wasn’t difficult to spot her when he got outside. She had moved down one of the paths towards the center of the garden, which lead to a fountain, the crown jewel of the entire place. The figure itself was of a triumphant looking woman, her arms raised above her in a welcoming gesture. Water cascaded slowly from small pipes under her eyes and from under her hair and the center of her chest, giving the illusion that while the woman was discreetly clad in water, she was also weeping. Whether it was from joy or some other reason, one could only guess.
Ebony seemed to be trying to make that guess on her part, as she had gotten to the fountain when Apollo reached her. She was sitting on the edge and looking up at the statue, her own expression thoughtful, but also peaceful.
Ah, but she is lovely. Apollo thought. He could understand why Kozmotis had fallen for her, if his attraction had been based on looks alone. She wasn’t a sickly pale creature like many of the nobility looked. Her hair was black with a raven wings shine, and her skin a healthy olive tone, like someone who often worked in the sun. And her eyes, when not guarded, were a warm brown that reminded Apollo of the healthy, brown soil that some of the plants of the royal gardens required. A good color for a healthy woman like her.
”Stars shine, Lady Pitchiner.” He called out to her and withheld a sigh when he watched her turn her head in his direction, recognize the sight of him and her warm brown eyes turned hard and guarded once more. Ah well.
”Light speaks, Tsar Lunanoff.” Ebony replied, watching him as he approached her.
“A lovely dinner we have had so far, yes?” Apollo asked, standing casually with his hands behind his back. “Albeit a bit boring.”
She watched him with a raised brow, her expression guarded but also a bit skeptical. “I have found the entertainment rather pleasant myself, my Tsar.” She replied. “I am sorry that it is not to your liking.”
Apollo shrugged. “No need for apologies. It’s not you who are responsible for it. It’s just not to my taste, that is all.”
Ebony just responded with a hum, acknowledging his comment, but saying nothing otherwise. The two of them were silent for a while, with nothing but the gentle rush of water from the fountain to be heard, along with the faint music from the open doors leading to the dining area.
Apollo pursed his lips in thought, noting how Ebony was no longer watching him, but had turned her attention back to the surrounding gardens. “Kozmotis did not want to join you out here?” He asked.
“My husband was in the middle of a conversation.” She replied, her words polite, but with a guarded undertone. “I simply told him, that he could find me in the garden later.”
Husband. Apollo tried not to twitch at the word when it was mentioned in connection with Kozmotis, and especially when spoken by the… Lady Pitchiner. He opted instead for what was supposed to be a charming grin, albeit a bit stiff.
“He does so like to talk with others. While you, Lady Pitchiner, do not seem as inclined.” He slowly said.
Ebony shrugged. “I am speaking with you, my Tsar.” She said, earning a snort from the other in wry amusement. She had a fair point.
At the same time however, he inwardly grimaced in frustration. He was not going to get anywhere like this. Perhaps, though, if he got her a little… loosened up.
“There are other ways of exchanging words…” He replied, as he slowly and carefully approached her. ”I am certain you are familiar with some of them.”
The Lady frowned, watching Apollo with a guarded expression, as he came closer. ”I am afraid I do not quite follow, my Tsar.” She said politely. Apollo smirked at that, managing to get close enough to lightly caress his fingers along an exposed shoulder.
“I think you follow quite well. Considering how you and your husband enjoy sneaking off at the Galas…” He hummed. “Those… private conversations hardly need a word, wouldn’t you say?”
Ebony had gone very still, probably reacting to the touch, but clearly also disliking how Apollo was in her personal space, speaking of things that were really none of his business.
“Those conversations are not meant for you, my Tsar. They are private for a reason.” She finally said, her tone calm but with a firmly hidden warning.
“Ah, but my dear Ebony…” Apollo bend over slightly, just enough so that he could reach up and gently brush a bit of hair from her ear, before he whispered:
“I think you would enjoy if I got in on the conversation.”
Behind his back, the Tsar lightly snapped his fingers, igniting the spark of magic he had sent into her body.
It was suddenly very hard to breathe, and his throat hurt, and when Apollo staggered backwards he realized that the Lady Pitchiner had punched him right under his jaw. She was glaring at him furiously, her fists clenched as she breathed hard, quickly getting to her feet as the Tsar staggered backwards. His magic was clearly affecting her, that much was obvious, but Apollo could also tell that the woman was absolutely furious!
She punched me! He thought for a childish moment, while reaching up to touch where he had been hit, his breath wheezing in his lungs, and black spots dancing in his vision. Suddenly, the Lady was up and close, and in spite of her being a very petite size, Apollo found that she was also incredibly strong (or he was just that disoriented from the punch), as she grabbed him by the fabric of his outfit and used her own weight to yank him forward, tripping him so he lost his balance and got them both sent headfirst into the fountain.
The water was almost frigid, but mercifully clean, though it still stung to suddenly be inhaling it through your nose and mouth, as Apollo learned quickly (he found that he was learning a lot this evening). Ebony had him on his back, straddling him by his waist while keeping his upper body pinned under the water, her own clothes and hair completely drenched and her makeup running. (Apollo wondered idly for a moment how he himself must look at this moment. Not very godly, that was for certain).
She was snarling something, but he couldn’t hear her under the water. But he could guess that she must be very upset.
She was also stunningly beautiful, and Apollo once again found himself understanding why Kozmotis had gotten married to this woman. She was as unpredictable as the weather, calm one moment and then turning into a furious storm the next… Or maybe that was just the roaring of the fountain water that made him think that.
As he mused this, Apollo suddenly realized that the Lady had disappeared. And there were hands, several in fact, now pulling him out of the water. The same hands were clapping him on the back, and it only took a moment for him to start coughing up all the water he had swallowed, before he was pulled out of the fountain.
The General was also there, holding his petite, fiery wife, who was just as soaked as Apollo felt, and glaring absolute murder at the Tsar. Kozmotis was holding her in a firm grip however, and when Apollo managed to look closer, he saw that the General was actually keeping her lifted off the ground.
The host of the party was babbling something, from the sound of it assuming that Ebony had attacked the Tsar completely unprovoked, though he was assuring Apollo that the Pitchiners, or at least the Lady herself, would never be allowed back after creating such a spectacle. After all, how DARE she touch the Good and Benevolent Tsar like she had, not to mention almost DROWN him!
Surprisingly, Apollo noticed, Kozmotis was giving him a look. It was not nearly as murderous as that of his wife, but there was something about it…
Oh. His eyes said it all really.
Kozmotis was angry! Not at his wife for attacking the Tsar, but clearly at Apollo because the other had done something that had warranted the attack on him by the Lady Pitchiner. For once, rather than being the obedient servant, Koz was actually mad at Apollo!
There was something strangely hilarious about that.
The councilman stopped his babbling when the Tsar Lunanoff suddenly began to chuckle. It was faint at first, but soon turned into a full out, half-choked guffawing, which only stopped because the Tsar’s throat was still rather sore from the punch it had received. Everyone else went completely still, even the Pitchiners, the both of them changing expressions slightly from angry to wary.
“Alright… let’s not be hasty.” Apollo managed, his voice sounding thin and strained. Ow, the Lady had a mean fist, that much was certain. “I may have been… a bit of an oaf, towards the Lady Pitchiner.” He gave a slight bow in the direction of the Pitchiners, and he almost started laughing again when Ebony scowled at him.
“Really, it was my fault.” He continued, “and the Lady simply saw it fit to… cool me off. You know me, and my ’hot flashes’…” it was a bit of a rather brutal inside joke at the Constellation Court, that the Tsar had a litterally fiery temper some days, especially when the Moon Madness was toying with his mind and mood.
“So as you can see, there was no real attack as much as a necessary need to cool me down, before an accident could occur. Really, you should be thanking her, rather than scolding her.”
Judging from the rather befuddled look on the councilman’s face, he wasn’t certain whether he should be taking Apollo seriously or not. Good, let the mans braincells get some exercise for once.
“I am going home.” Apollo declared on his part. “General, you should be doing the same. Wouldn’t want your wife to catch a cold now, do we?” With those final words, he staggered off, followed only by a few anxious servants, and a rather nervous Selena.
Apollo had no idea what the Pitchiners would be doing when they got home, but he knew on his part, that he was going to get a healer to look at him, and then he was going to get drunk.
On the bright side, Apollo thought to himself in vague amusement, the Lady had not been aiming for the crown jewels. That could have ended rather badly.
Fandom: Rise of the Guardians/Guardians of Childhood
Rated: PG-13 for minor violence
Summary: Tsar Apollo Lunanoff knows what he wants. This doesn’t mean he can just get it, which he learns the hard way from Lady Pitchiner.
Notes: A little fic I’ve been working on for the-ink-kettle on tumblr who let me borrow her Tsar Lunanoff facing off against my Ebony Pitchiner o3o I hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun writing this XD
-----
Lady Ebony Pitchiner was a beautiful woman, there was no question about that. She was petite but elegant, and while she possessed no magic, she made up for it with pure stubbornness, beauty and a razorsharp wit and intelligence. Tsar Apollo Lunanoff had seen her verbally cut down plenty of aristocrats, who believed themselves above her and her darling husband Kozmotis.
Ah Kozmotis, his fine Golden General. You wouldn’t think he was what he was, when you got to know him in person. The man had been born in a mining colony, had become a soldier and then… well, they said he had met his wife, and she had chiseled away the rough surface and brought out the rich ore within that was everything of Kozmotis Pitchiner. Roughly hewn, scarred, battleworn, but also an excellent strategist and diplomat with a silver tongue.
Apollo was not afraid to admit that he had fantasies about that tongue and putting it to good use on something other than diplomacy.
It was always strangely amusing in a way to watch Ebony and Kozmotis, especially during grand events such as some of the Galas that they occasionally had to attend. They were almost like actors, putting on masks for the public that rarely revealed their true feelings, unless it was someone familiar, while in private or smaller gatherings, they were sometimes a bit more open.
That Lady Pitchiner was much shorter than her husband only made it even more amusing, even though Apollo doubted others would see the humor in his observations. There was just something about the way that tiny woman could either charm a crowd with her knowledge, or shoot them down with her whipcrack wit.
Lady Pitchiner always kept herself closed around the Tsar however. She was polite and calm, but she never let herself be alone with him. Perhaps her husband had warned her of the Tsars flirtatious, and often demanding and impulsive nature, or perhaps she was paranoid about the by now legendary Moon Madness that reigned supreme through the Tsars bloodline. Perhaps a part of her felt sorry for them all, as Apollo knew for a fact, that she was always gentle when it came to his ball and chain of a wife.
He knew the Pitchiners were adventurous in several ways, and his sharp ears had heard the servants tittering amongst themselves, of how the Pitchiners would sometimes sneak off at parties, and find an empty bedroom. He certainly wouldn’t mind if they were to invite him along sometime.
Stars, but he wanted that woman. Her and her prized war stallion of a husband. And he was quite certain that if he got a proper chance to speak with her in private, the Lady Pitchiner would be more agreeable.
———–
He decided to take the chance at one of the more casual gatherings that the nobility was so very fond of. A council member of the Taurus constellation was holding a lavish dinner and of course the Pitchiners and the Lunanoffs were invited. Everyone bowed and scraped when the Tsar was introduced, and then the guests were seated.
It was one of those dinners where several courses were served over several hours, all of them small and rather light so they weren’t too filling. And if the guests did feel full, they simply left the table for a bit for some of the entertainment going around. At the table itself was a light music being played, while the council member had offered access to his gardens outside if his guests wanted some fresh air.
Lady Pitchiner went for such an option at one point, murmuring something to her husband, who nodded to her before she left.
Apollo on his part pretended to be invested in a conversation between a couple of the other guests, before he excused himself as well a few moments later.
It wasn’t difficult to spot her when he got outside. She had moved down one of the paths towards the center of the garden, which lead to a fountain, the crown jewel of the entire place. The figure itself was of a triumphant looking woman, her arms raised above her in a welcoming gesture. Water cascaded slowly from small pipes under her eyes and from under her hair and the center of her chest, giving the illusion that while the woman was discreetly clad in water, she was also weeping. Whether it was from joy or some other reason, one could only guess.
Ebony seemed to be trying to make that guess on her part, as she had gotten to the fountain when Apollo reached her. She was sitting on the edge and looking up at the statue, her own expression thoughtful, but also peaceful.
Ah, but she is lovely. Apollo thought. He could understand why Kozmotis had fallen for her, if his attraction had been based on looks alone. She wasn’t a sickly pale creature like many of the nobility looked. Her hair was black with a raven wings shine, and her skin a healthy olive tone, like someone who often worked in the sun. And her eyes, when not guarded, were a warm brown that reminded Apollo of the healthy, brown soil that some of the plants of the royal gardens required. A good color for a healthy woman like her.
”Stars shine, Lady Pitchiner.” He called out to her and withheld a sigh when he watched her turn her head in his direction, recognize the sight of him and her warm brown eyes turned hard and guarded once more. Ah well.
”Light speaks, Tsar Lunanoff.” Ebony replied, watching him as he approached her.
“A lovely dinner we have had so far, yes?” Apollo asked, standing casually with his hands behind his back. “Albeit a bit boring.”
She watched him with a raised brow, her expression guarded but also a bit skeptical. “I have found the entertainment rather pleasant myself, my Tsar.” She replied. “I am sorry that it is not to your liking.”
Apollo shrugged. “No need for apologies. It’s not you who are responsible for it. It’s just not to my taste, that is all.”
Ebony just responded with a hum, acknowledging his comment, but saying nothing otherwise. The two of them were silent for a while, with nothing but the gentle rush of water from the fountain to be heard, along with the faint music from the open doors leading to the dining area.
Apollo pursed his lips in thought, noting how Ebony was no longer watching him, but had turned her attention back to the surrounding gardens. “Kozmotis did not want to join you out here?” He asked.
“My husband was in the middle of a conversation.” She replied, her words polite, but with a guarded undertone. “I simply told him, that he could find me in the garden later.”
Husband. Apollo tried not to twitch at the word when it was mentioned in connection with Kozmotis, and especially when spoken by the… Lady Pitchiner. He opted instead for what was supposed to be a charming grin, albeit a bit stiff.
“He does so like to talk with others. While you, Lady Pitchiner, do not seem as inclined.” He slowly said.
Ebony shrugged. “I am speaking with you, my Tsar.” She said, earning a snort from the other in wry amusement. She had a fair point.
At the same time however, he inwardly grimaced in frustration. He was not going to get anywhere like this. Perhaps, though, if he got her a little… loosened up.
“There are other ways of exchanging words…” He replied, as he slowly and carefully approached her. ”I am certain you are familiar with some of them.”
The Lady frowned, watching Apollo with a guarded expression, as he came closer. ”I am afraid I do not quite follow, my Tsar.” She said politely. Apollo smirked at that, managing to get close enough to lightly caress his fingers along an exposed shoulder.
“I think you follow quite well. Considering how you and your husband enjoy sneaking off at the Galas…” He hummed. “Those… private conversations hardly need a word, wouldn’t you say?”
Ebony had gone very still, probably reacting to the touch, but clearly also disliking how Apollo was in her personal space, speaking of things that were really none of his business.
“Those conversations are not meant for you, my Tsar. They are private for a reason.” She finally said, her tone calm but with a firmly hidden warning.
“Ah, but my dear Ebony…” Apollo bend over slightly, just enough so that he could reach up and gently brush a bit of hair from her ear, before he whispered:
“I think you would enjoy if I got in on the conversation.”
Behind his back, the Tsar lightly snapped his fingers, igniting the spark of magic he had sent into her body.
It was suddenly very hard to breathe, and his throat hurt, and when Apollo staggered backwards he realized that the Lady Pitchiner had punched him right under his jaw. She was glaring at him furiously, her fists clenched as she breathed hard, quickly getting to her feet as the Tsar staggered backwards. His magic was clearly affecting her, that much was obvious, but Apollo could also tell that the woman was absolutely furious!
She punched me! He thought for a childish moment, while reaching up to touch where he had been hit, his breath wheezing in his lungs, and black spots dancing in his vision. Suddenly, the Lady was up and close, and in spite of her being a very petite size, Apollo found that she was also incredibly strong (or he was just that disoriented from the punch), as she grabbed him by the fabric of his outfit and used her own weight to yank him forward, tripping him so he lost his balance and got them both sent headfirst into the fountain.
The water was almost frigid, but mercifully clean, though it still stung to suddenly be inhaling it through your nose and mouth, as Apollo learned quickly (he found that he was learning a lot this evening). Ebony had him on his back, straddling him by his waist while keeping his upper body pinned under the water, her own clothes and hair completely drenched and her makeup running. (Apollo wondered idly for a moment how he himself must look at this moment. Not very godly, that was for certain).
She was snarling something, but he couldn’t hear her under the water. But he could guess that she must be very upset.
She was also stunningly beautiful, and Apollo once again found himself understanding why Kozmotis had gotten married to this woman. She was as unpredictable as the weather, calm one moment and then turning into a furious storm the next… Or maybe that was just the roaring of the fountain water that made him think that.
As he mused this, Apollo suddenly realized that the Lady had disappeared. And there were hands, several in fact, now pulling him out of the water. The same hands were clapping him on the back, and it only took a moment for him to start coughing up all the water he had swallowed, before he was pulled out of the fountain.
The General was also there, holding his petite, fiery wife, who was just as soaked as Apollo felt, and glaring absolute murder at the Tsar. Kozmotis was holding her in a firm grip however, and when Apollo managed to look closer, he saw that the General was actually keeping her lifted off the ground.
The host of the party was babbling something, from the sound of it assuming that Ebony had attacked the Tsar completely unprovoked, though he was assuring Apollo that the Pitchiners, or at least the Lady herself, would never be allowed back after creating such a spectacle. After all, how DARE she touch the Good and Benevolent Tsar like she had, not to mention almost DROWN him!
Surprisingly, Apollo noticed, Kozmotis was giving him a look. It was not nearly as murderous as that of his wife, but there was something about it…
Oh. His eyes said it all really.
Kozmotis was angry! Not at his wife for attacking the Tsar, but clearly at Apollo because the other had done something that had warranted the attack on him by the Lady Pitchiner. For once, rather than being the obedient servant, Koz was actually mad at Apollo!
There was something strangely hilarious about that.
The councilman stopped his babbling when the Tsar Lunanoff suddenly began to chuckle. It was faint at first, but soon turned into a full out, half-choked guffawing, which only stopped because the Tsar’s throat was still rather sore from the punch it had received. Everyone else went completely still, even the Pitchiners, the both of them changing expressions slightly from angry to wary.
“Alright… let’s not be hasty.” Apollo managed, his voice sounding thin and strained. Ow, the Lady had a mean fist, that much was certain. “I may have been… a bit of an oaf, towards the Lady Pitchiner.” He gave a slight bow in the direction of the Pitchiners, and he almost started laughing again when Ebony scowled at him.
“Really, it was my fault.” He continued, “and the Lady simply saw it fit to… cool me off. You know me, and my ’hot flashes’…” it was a bit of a rather brutal inside joke at the Constellation Court, that the Tsar had a litterally fiery temper some days, especially when the Moon Madness was toying with his mind and mood.
“So as you can see, there was no real attack as much as a necessary need to cool me down, before an accident could occur. Really, you should be thanking her, rather than scolding her.”
Judging from the rather befuddled look on the councilman’s face, he wasn’t certain whether he should be taking Apollo seriously or not. Good, let the mans braincells get some exercise for once.
“I am going home.” Apollo declared on his part. “General, you should be doing the same. Wouldn’t want your wife to catch a cold now, do we?” With those final words, he staggered off, followed only by a few anxious servants, and a rather nervous Selena.
Apollo had no idea what the Pitchiners would be doing when they got home, but he knew on his part, that he was going to get a healer to look at him, and then he was going to get drunk.
On the bright side, Apollo thought to himself in vague amusement, the Lady had not been aiming for the crown jewels. That could have ended rather badly.
